The government has officially declared that everything is “under control.”

This announcement comes right after:

  • Chaos
  • Confusion
  • Three contradictory statements

Officials clarified that “under control” is not a status—it’s a feeling.

Citizens were advised to remain calm and trust the process, which currently appears to be:

  1. Deny
  2. Clarify
  3. Blame
  4. Move on

A spokesperson added, “Control is subjective. From our side, everything is perfectly fine.”