The subject clarified he was not staring, as staring implies intent, whereas he was merely present in the general direction of the stranger and happened to be facing that way, which has continued for eleven minutes, during which he has not blinked.

ANYWHERE IN INDIA WITH A FOREIGNER, AN UNUSUAL VEHICLE, AN ARGUMENT, OR ANYTHING ELSE — By Staff Reporter Being Watched Right Now

JAIPUR — A local man identified only as standing outside the chai stall on MI Road confirmed Wednesday that he was absolutely not staring at the foreign tourist attempting to eat a samosa without making a mess of herself, but was merely looking, which is a different thing, which he would explain if pressed, though he was not pressed because the woman in question had already been staring at him staring at her for forty-five seconds and had reached the conclusion that confrontation would produce more staring.

The Indian public gaze — documented by anthropologists, complained about by tourists, and completely invisible to those deploying it — operates on a principle that does not exist in most other cultures: that looking at something is a neutral act requiring no acknowledgement, explanation, or conclusion. The gaze has no start time and no scheduled end time. It is simply a gaze. It will continue until something more interesting appears, or until the object of the gaze does something that makes the gaze feel rewarded. Either way, the gaze will have been worth it.

"Main kya kar raha hoon? Main toh bas dekh raha hoon."— The man outside the chai stall, when asked. He has been "bas dekh raha" for eleven minutes. The samosa is gone. He is still looking at where the samosa was.

Researchers have identified seven distinct categories of Indian public staring: The Benign Curiosity Stare (mild, exploratory, no judgement, ends naturally), The Roadside Accident Stare (highly focused, collaborative, generates a crowd), The New Vehicle Stare (directed at any car above ₹20 lakh or any car that has been modified in any way including a new sticker), The Argument Observation Stare (crowds gather within 90 seconds; everyone has an opinion; nobody is involved), The Tourist Stare (directed at any foreigner attempting to navigate something; sympathetic; sometimes helpful; always prolonged), The Couple Stare (activated by any public display of affection including hand-holding; intensity proportional to city size, inversely), and The Phone Screen Stare (deployed on flights, buses, and anywhere someone is watching something on their phone without earphones, which is also a separate problem).

At press time, a minor road accident had occurred on MI Road, generating a crowd of forty-seven people within three minutes, none of whom were involved, several of whom were taking videos, two of whom were offering advice to the police officer who had not arrived yet, and one of whom had been watching the whole thing from before it happened and was therefore the most authoritative witness present, which he confirmed by moving to the front.

Indian Staring7 Categories Of GazeArgument CrowdJust Looking DifferentNew Vehicle Stare
Disclaimer: Satire. The seven staring categories are entirely real and observable. The 90-second crowd formation around an argument is a personal estimate that feels generous. — Ed.