NEW DELHI — Confirming what researchers have suspected since the invention of the queue in 18th-century England, a new study conducted at a Delhi metro station has found that 94% of Indians fully understand and support the concept of standing in a line, provided the line begins immediately behind wherever they are currently standing.

The study, conducted over three weeks at the Rajiv Chowk interchange and published in the Journal of Obviously True Things, found that the average Indian will defend a queue with remarkable passion once inside it, deliver sharp looks to anyone attempting to cut, and occasionally deliver a full lecture on civic responsibility — all while standing in a position they themselves occupied by materialising sideways from a gap approximately three inches wide that briefly appeared between two existing queue members in 2019.

Experts noted a specific sub-phenomenon: the Aggressive Queue Protector — a citizen who, having taken their place in line by whatever means necessary, becomes its fiercest defender. They will glare. They will make pointed comments. They will position their body as a physical barrier. They will, if necessary, make direct eye contact with the queue-jumper and slowly shake their head in the manner of a disappointed schoolteacher, completely without irony.

The study also documented the Queue Gap Sensor — a biological ability, apparently unique to the Indian nervous system, to detect any gap greater than 0.6 inches in a line of people and interpret it as an invitation. Researchers could not explain how this sensor developed. They noted it works equally well at ATMs, petrol stations, government offices, and the biryani counter at weddings, where the urgency increases by a documented factor of seven.

At press time, a man had joined the queue behind this reporter, was standing close enough to read this article over his shoulder, and upon being asked to give some space, said "oh sorry sorry" and moved back approximately one centimetre, which was the maximum distance he considered adequate and the minimum distance this reporter considered adequate, and the gap between these two numbers is the gap in which all of Indian public life exists.